FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE 4/1/21

Evergreen Subaru transport vessel finally free!


photo credit

Evergreen Subaru's container ship, loaded with parts that the Maine dealership uses to assemble vehicles, is finally afloat after a week of being wedged tight in the Suez Canal, grinding shipping to a halt in that vital transport corridor.

Managing Owner Doug Weisz said, "I feel pretty bad about all the problems our vessel caused, but what really steeps my tea is the paint job. Last year, thinking we could create the world's biggest billboard, I told them to paint "Subaru" next to "Evergreen." Instead, they painted it below. As a result of that mistake, no one can read "Subaru" because the letters are below the waterline when the ship is fully loaded. We're missing so much free publicity...we've been on the front page of every newspaper in the world over the past week but no one knows it's us. It could be any company! Well, I guess it couldn't be Apple, because apple trees are deciduous instead of evergreen, but you get the idea."


Interviewed shortly after the incident, the commander of the stricken vessel, Captain Powers, was asked how such a thing could happen. He provided the following demonstration to illustrate the sequence of events: 

 
Funny take at the Suez Canal crisis.

Photo Credit


Why does a Subaru dealership in Maine have its own container ship, almost a quarter mile long? Chris Dunn, Evergreen's General Manager came up with idea to help supply more vehicles for the juggernaut that is their sales department. "Subaru has become so popular in the last ten years that the company can't build enough cars to keep up with our ability to sell them. So, we decided to vertically integrate the supply chain. We buy parts all over the world and then we build our own Subarus. That's why we're moving into a huge new facility, to accommodate the unrelenting demand."  

With summer coming up and Mainers clamoring for island cars, Evergreen's Suez ship is loaded with tens of thousands of parts to build Subaru pick-up trucks. Subaru last made a small pick-up, called the Baja and built on an Outback chassis, in 2006. The absence of a pick-up in Subaru's line model line represented a huge opportunity waiting to be seized, so now Evergreen is building its own pick-up. They call this precious little thing the Bahaha.


Rows upon rows of Evergreen Subaru Bahahas lined up in front of their new facilty, under construction.


    
 

Most Bahahas roll out of the Evergreen Subaru factory with a 54 horsepower, four-cylinder engine, but lately people have been asking for more torque. Service Manager Joel Arel had an idea. He noticed how much people liked the 707 horsepower produced by Dodge's Hellcat engine. "We installed a big V8 of our own and wanted to call it the Bahaha Hellcat. Our trademark attorney nixed that. Since Hello Kitty is so popular in Japan, and Subaru is a Japanese company, we decided to call our high-performance version the Bahaha Hell(o)Kitty."


close up of the badging on the Evergreen Subaru Bahaha HellKitty


If you haven't figured it out already, this is an April Fool's gag. Fact check:

  • The ship does not belong to Evergreen Subaru.
  • Evergreen does not build Bahahas, but they do actually sell imported Subaru vehicles known as Sambars, and you can see their attractively-priced selection here. 
  • A V8 will not fit in the engine bay of a Sambar, but you could carry one in the back.

 

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Contact:

Doug Weisz, Managing Owner

doug.weisz@evergreensubaru.com

(207) 786-8500

774 Center Street

Auburn, ME 04210

 

About Evergreen Subaru:

Evergreen Subaru is committed to "going the extra mile" every chance we get to create a positive customer experience. We provide a broad range of Subaru models and love to have the opportunity to find customers the perfect new car, truck, van, or SUV.